Thursday, 26 March 2015

"Move over sun and give me some sky, I’ve got some wings and I’m ready to fly"

As I walk my way to Malone's Irish Bar, sleepy and tired, I somehow feel a sense of relief at my first dissertation submission for the session. It has been 3 months already since I came to this enchanting city.. 3 months full of new experiences and diverse emotions.. Meeting some of the most interesting mix of people.. I still remember it like it was yesterday that I walked out of the airport, the chilling cold breeze lifted my spirits with the excitement of the year to come.. A warm smile on my lips...

Winter has set in.. 3 pm and it is dark already.. As I come to the entrance of the Meadows I suddenly halt.. there is a sense of anxiety that overpowers me.. I am familiar with this feeling but have not felt it since I arrived in this city.. I wonder why there is this shiver in my spine.. and suddenly the quiet loneliness fills me up..
My brain has already set in action the reactions to this anxiety.. all my senses are heightened.. my heartbeat is racing.. I keep looking over my shoulders.. and as soon as someone comes close.. my body flexes.. It is my brain's automatic self-defense mechanism.. a result of my years of trying to protect myself from the cat calls, stares, light brushes, groping.. the list is endless..

But I wonder, do I really need it here??

As I slowly cross the dark quiet path.. people cross me from all directions.. oblivious to the fear that has grappled me.. I cross a young couple, much in love.. and as they smile at me.. I wonder again if my fears are unwarranted.. I have already experienced many a times how different this city is from things back home.. people here care to look out for you even though you are a stranger.. they try to protect you and advise you..

As I head close to my destination I see cars and huge crowds of university students out for a fun evening at the end of the term.. I slowly start to relax..

Although the automatic response to dark nights and lonely stretches may take a while to curb.. this city I now call home has given me true independence.. As I walk down to the entrance of Malone's I am not scared or anxious anymore.. cautious yes (probably some habits take longer than others to overcome).. But I realize.. I am free.. the kind of free I had never known earlier.. where I am not at guard at all times.. where I am not protecting myself from everyone around me.. where I can walk free no matter what time of day or night.. and experience the beauty of my city rather than looking over my shoulder every other second..

At last.. I am free to explore and experience this amazing city I have fallen in love with..  

No comments:

Post a Comment